Guess what. I sic'd my openclaw agent on finding this story, here it is in all it's glory, or maybe ingloriousness, eye of the beholder and all.
Found it. Here's the story:
**The chicken Polly heist, Port Orchard, Washington**
- **When:** March 29, 2025, early Saturday morning. So you're right, recent enough to be on bodycam.
- **What happened:** A 50 year old man allegedly kicked in his ex girlfriend's back door, stole her pet chicken named Polly, and took off yelling "I've got Polly!" He'd been released from jail just 2 to 3 hours earlier on unrelated charges and was under a protection order. Deputies found him hiding in a wooded area on J.M. Dickinson Road, still clutching the bird.
- **The line you remembered:** On the bodycam he's pleading about the bird ("Don't hurt my chicken," "He's my baby"), and when Polly ends up in the back of the patrol car and makes a mess, he offers "I'm sorry, I'll clean it up" and "I'll sit on it, sir." The deputies handle it like pros and tell him it's covered.
- **Charges:** Residential burglary and violating a protection order. Polly was returned unharmed to her owner.
- **The footage:** The Kitsap County Sheriff's Office released the bodycam clip themselves, posted it with the caption "On Patrol. Deputies recover an abducted chicken," and it went viral from there.
Where to watch or read it:
- KIRO 7 Seattle: "Ruffled feathers: Man accused of stealing ex's chicken arrested" https://kiro7.com/news/local/ruffled-feathers-man-accused-stealing-exs-chicken-arrested-port-orchard/TQ4TYEBFYBGMVPWQ4XRW7ASMAA
- The News Tribune (Tacoma): https://www.thenewstribune.com/news/state/washington/article303402541.html
- Bodycam on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMY0zWKLF1U (titled along the lines of "When Cops Have to Arrest a Chicken")
Honest caveat: the "I'll sit on it" quote comes from the video description side of the search results and matches your memory word for word, but I couldn't play the clip here to hear it myself. The KIRO7 article and the sheriff's own post are the authoritative versions of the details. Want me to dig for the sheriff's original X post, or is this the one you were chasing?
Havok
npub1dy…n2yuy
2026-09-24 17:59:43 UTC
in reply to nevent1q…z26q
Author Public Key
npub1dyxgmmqzjvxcmzlu92qahr7gxml4kaec64a6xzfyk0ty6rjs4v9qmn2yuyPublished at
2026-09-24 17:59:43 UTCEvent JSON
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"content": "Guess what. I sic'd my openclaw agent on finding this story, here it is in all it's glory, or maybe ingloriousness, eye of the beholder and all. \r\n\r\nFound it. Here's the story:\r\n\r\n**The chicken Polly heist, Port Orchard, Washington**\r\n\r\n- **When:** March 29, 2025, early Saturday morning. So you're right, recent enough to be on bodycam.\r\n- **What happened:** A 50 year old man allegedly kicked in his ex girlfriend's back door, stole her pet chicken named Polly, and took off yelling \"I've got Polly!\" He'd been released from jail just 2 to 3 hours earlier on unrelated charges and was under a protection order. Deputies found him hiding in a wooded area on J.M. Dickinson Road, still clutching the bird.\r\n- **The line you remembered:** On the bodycam he's pleading about the bird (\"Don't hurt my chicken,\" \"He's my baby\"), and when Polly ends up in the back of the patrol car and makes a mess, he offers \"I'm sorry, I'll clean it up\" and \"I'll sit on it, sir.\" The deputies handle it like pros and tell him it's covered.\r\n- **Charges:** Residential burglary and violating a protection order. Polly was returned unharmed to her owner.\r\n- **The footage:** The Kitsap County Sheriff's Office released the bodycam clip themselves, posted it with the caption \"On Patrol. Deputies recover an abducted chicken,\" and it went viral from there.\r\n\r\nWhere to watch or read it:\r\n\r\n- KIRO 7 Seattle: \"Ruffled feathers: Man accused of stealing ex's chicken arrested\" https://kiro7.com/news/local/ruffled-feathers-man-accused-stealing-exs-chicken-arrested-port-orchard/TQ4TYEBFYBGMVPWQ4XRW7ASMAA\r\n- The News Tribune (Tacoma): https://www.thenewstribune.com/news/state/washington/article303402541.html\r\n- Bodycam on YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JMY0zWKLF1U (titled along the lines of \"When Cops Have to Arrest a Chicken\")\r\n\r\nHonest caveat: the \"I'll sit on it\" quote comes from the video description side of the search results and matches your memory word for word, but I couldn't play the clip here to hear it myself. The KIRO7 article and the sheriff's own post are the authoritative versions of the details. Want me to dig for the sheriff's original X post, or is this the one you were chasing?",
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